Self-consciousness

I used to have a diary once.
After sometime, I stop writing it.
Nowadays, I consider my blog as my diary but not a secret one.
I believe that this is one way where I can express my thoughts and feelings.

Sad
On my way to office this morning
while I was driving
listening to the IKIM playing the song from Yassin & Too Phat, titled "Alhamdulillah" makes tears filled in my eyes.
It suddenly turns me sad
Because I was thinking how is it going to be if I will be having a baby
(I know and I admit that I kept thinking about this always)
How am I going to take care of myself and the baby..
Oh..I should not have thought this way..
because it will remind me of the past.
I should not be worry because I know Allah will always be with me.
And I have my dearest husband on my side.
Alhamdulillah..

Changes
What I am going to say had nothing to do with anyone
I am really sorry if it could hurt any of you.
But it did hurt me when I hear such statement..
O' Allah..forgive me..

At first I know that my appearance in the office had change lately.
And as I expected, many had surprised. (Lots of comments received, well thank you)
Of course, I am wearing baju kurung everyday with my new style of wearing scarf.
But what happen is I do not know that this could have made anyone feel uncomfortable with it.

At this point of time, I totally agree with my husband's statement when I asked his opinion on my attire one day,
He said, "Biasala syg..kdg2 org moden mana suke pakai yang sopan2 kan..Org cakap org sopan ni berfikiran cetek..They are them".
But I know the statement is only to remind me, not intentionally to condemn others.
For me, what matters is this is what I want and I comfortable with and this is what my husband care.

And I have no right if you want to wear a skirt or a tight sleeves
I cannot say anything. Not because I do not want to
But sometimes people would think the other side.
We are all the slaves of Allah
I have my own weaknesses, I admit it.
What matters is you know what you are doing and you are really comfortable of what you are wearing.
But when it comes to mine, I have to stand up myself.
I am so sorry.
For me it's not a matter of being young that you cannot wear this kind of scarf..
It's a matter of how you perceive yourself.
Think about it ok.
Hope Allah may strengthen my Iman and those around me..Amin

p/s : Along did sms me last night informing ayah was having a fever.Poor ayah..hopefully he will recover soon. I may come to visit ayah tonight, Insyallah.


Live Islam, Act Islam, Love Islam.
p.e.a.c.e.